I don’t know how to ask for help.
I don’t know how to admit I can’t do things alone.
I don’t know how to say I’m better with you than without you.
However, after an email exchange with a sweet blog reader who wrote out a prayer for me and the wedding, I realized I need to solicit prayer. But I don’t know how to ask for help. I don’t know how to admit I can’t do things alone. I don’t know how to say I’m better with you than without you. But I need to, I can’t, and I am.
With the current US divorce rate at a stunning 52%, I’m terrified I’ll fail at marriage. Fail at the mutual submission thing. Fail at respecting my mate. Fail at doing laundry. Fail at remembering to be a good wife. Fail at remembering to not let this kids play with toxic liquids under the sink. Yes, I’m just afraid of failing.
The veneer is stripped and I’m raw and unfinished. I’m shamelessly asking to please pray for me. If you’ve been a blog reader for a minute or a month, you’re part of this community… and I’m better with you than without you. Can I ask for the biggest favor from you? Can you please pray for the next nine days for our pending marriage? I’m including some prayer requests and hope you please think of me 🙂
- Pray Matthew loves me unconditionally [even if I don’t know how to load the dishwasher or make espresso]
- Pray I lovingly respect my husband and give him the best of me
- Pray our wedding is a reflection of divine love and perfection
- Pray I take time out of the day to enjoy the small things like laughter and tears and nervousness and joy
- Pray I don’t sob like a baby while I recite my vows to the man I passionately love
- Pray for moments of divine favor from God as we commit our lives together until the day we die
- Pray for peace, harmony, and [for Matt’s sake] punctuality 😉
- Pray for finances to be met, bills to be paid, and debt-free living
- Pray our marriage to further the kingdom of God and bring glory to His name
- And because I’m totally vain just like every other woman in America, pray I take Matt’s breath away when he see me!
Live in love…
B
You got it Bianca – Praying for the Wedding and the wonderful future you have ahead of the four of you.
I think most people find it hard to ask for prayers but this community exists because of you and wants to be there for you in any possible way they can.
All those things and even more, I will pray for you and Matt.
ALWAYS (in caps) be kind to each other and pray to God are 2 of the best advice I can give you… Good luck on your wedding day. 🙂
will do! great prayers to ask for: the tough & the desired. i'm sure you'll take his breath away!
B, I don't need to pray that you will take Matt's breath away when he sees you. As a man who has stood at the end of an aisle I can promise you that you will take it away in ways even you cannot imagine. No doubt at all.
I'll be praying for the rest. If you need guest posters during your honeymoon, I'd be happy to contribute something to help out.
You sound like me! I’m constantly praying for others and occasionally my own concerns… Mostly for others. Call me crazy, but I sometimes feel like I’m being selfish asking for my own needs to be met when there are millions out there who are worse off than me. Don’t be ashamed to need help. We all worry! You’ve got this, girl! In Jesus name… It’s done and a long life of happiness is in store for y’all! 🙂
You got it sister! Just remember enjoy the journey together, at times you will have to remember its about a covenant not feelings, and never take one another for granted. You each are God’s gift to the other….its precious, not always easy, but precious. We have 5 kids, been married 16 yrs, my hubby was 19 when we married, gave his life to Jesus on our wedding day….I love him more today than then, he was a total gift to me.
Blessings in abundance!
-Kristin
oh my beautiful sister, I PRAY that the Lord meet every detail of your wedding and your marriage. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and reaching out and asking for prayer. This is the best gift we can give you. I will pray for you in my individual pray and when I pray with Wayne. In Jesus name we lift each and every bullet above and even the secret things hidden in your hearts.
Love you,
Patricia
My sweet ministry friend! Thank you so much and I pray I get to hear about your marriage to Wayne. We BOTH started our journey around the same time and I'm grateful to have trusted you to love me through my fear 🙂 xoxo
The wife of the pastor that married us, always reminds me of the Proverb "She brings him good all the days of her life." Oy, it's hard but that's where GRACE comes!!
One thing: spend time with your parents on the wedding day and REMEMBER what you talk about!
Many blessings!
Carrie
I have been following for a while, but this is my first comment. This post touched me. Mostly because I value the struggles of marriage so much. My marriage is far from perfect and we started very rocky and unsettled, and God used that frustration to bring me close to Him. The fact that you can value marriage so much and desire to be such a loving respectful spouse to Matt will guide and direct your heart in the way God intends. So yes! I will pray! Have a beautiful day and marriage. You wil truly enjoy your wedding day as a wonderful memory of the happiness that you two share.
Thank you SO much! I value your words and prayers 🙂
my dearest beloved bianca… little do you know that many have been raying for you already.. and much much more than that but some of us have been fasting as well… we will cntinue to pray. love you
Praying not dreaming. 😉
It's weird… I was thinking about you this morning, about your wedding coming up so soon, and wondering how you were doing. Before I even read this, God had already laid your situation on my heart. Praying, praying, praying, and knowing your day will be wonderful! You will do FINE as a wife! You won't be perfect, but Matt doesn't expect you to be! Much happiness to you both, Bianca!
How perfect! Your timing is on spot! Thank you for your prayers 🙂
My dear sister in Christ, I have been following you for a while now. I feel like I know you…there's definitely a divine connection. This post definitely felt like you were talking directly to ME. I want you to know that I will personally intercede for you for the next nine days. I declare that our hands, feet and our voices are being strengthened so that we may make war against the devil. Having authority over all the power of the enemy and dominion on earth, we speak life into the marriages and family structures in the Name of Jesus. We declare that our marriages prosper and are examples of God's purpose, plan, process, power and product for marriage.
In the next nine days, I declare peace over all the wedding professionals involved in executing your upcoming covenant marriage celebration. Love, Angie
I usually don't check blogs on Sundays…but I'm so glad I did today! Will absolutely be praying for you and your marriage. Thanks for sharing the specific requests on your heart and allowing all of us to come along side you in such a powerful way!
Bianca. I am SO glad that you asked for prayer. A lot of times in my marriage, I am hesitant to ask anyone for prayer because it shows a weakness in me and/or my marriage, and I always want to portray the strongest front as possible. Haha, but marriage… is delicate and I love that you’ve asked for prayer and I am so glad that… in an indirect way… we (readers) can be a part of your life.
God bless, friend!!
I am really, really happy for you. 🙂
Ciao.
Hi B!
Be encouraged !
Our good Lord Jesus has been putting your marriage on my heart and I have been praying for you. The Lord will take care of the details… every last one of them. I'm so excited for you and Matt. The Lord is good and He is faithful. Abide in Jesus. Talk to Him. Trust Him.
you got it!
I will definitely be praying for you!
Aw Bianca!! That is awesome to ask for and yes I will definitely be praying for you. I find that you and I are a lot alike in many things, but especially with the not wanting to ask for help. I do that all the time (even when I desperately need help) because I don't want someone to think that all I am in a helpless human being (though that is what I am 😉 I'm gonna write this down in a bit so I remember all the things you want prayer for. 🙂 Have a really blessed Sunday and don't worry, God is gonna work it all out for His glory and your good. 🙂
praying for you girl!
love you.
praying for you.
perfection is unattainable.
brokenness is inevitable.
god is constant.
that’s what seven years has taught me.
love to you and matt.
Those are simple yet deep words. I owe you wisdom in return… oooooor some chocolate covered bacon.
Thanks so much. Looking forward to seeing you again sometime soon…
Anne words are words of great wisdom. after 52 years of marriage. I can say that it still holds true. So remenber them
Love 🙂
so excited for you
so honored to pray with you
much love and grace to you and matt
You got it girl… 🙂
Of course I've got your back!!! Prayers for Bianca… check!!! =) I'm just so happy and excited for you!!! You've inspired me more than ever so this prayer request is the least I can do for you and your soon to be hubby!!!
Praying for you! Love ya, and know that your day will be nothing short of everything you have dreamed and prayed!
P.S…I think you take his breath away every time he sees you! 😉
I just started reading your blog and have already been inspired…thank you. I will keep you, your wedding & your marriage in my prayers. Don't forget the WATER PROOF mascara!
Bianca,
I cannot believe you are getting married in NINE DAYS! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Totally praying for you! I’m uber excited for you! I love you, Bianca 🙂
Because I think it's important – there is leadership on his part, and submission on your part. Doing it any other way would be a disservice to who God made us.
Having said that, I pray that he will be the leading husband God made him to be, and that you'll be the submitting wife God made you to be.
I hope I didn't come off as if I don't value divine heirarchy and leadership. But I do, however, think there's WAY more to serving God in my marraige than simply submission, just as I feel like there's more needed in a successful marriage than his leadership.
I'm pretty sure that's what you meant, but I just had to clarify 😉
there is (a lot of work to marriage) 🙂
I only brought it up because (in large part) the feminist movement (which you conveniently have recently blogged about) has done a disservice to the hierarchy of leadership, and is something God put on my heart over the last number of years.
Elizabeth Elliot puts it well in "Mark of the Man", where she describes how submission (in the Biblical sense) of the wife frees the husband to lead, while the leadership of the husband frees the wife to submit.
In other words: Living how God designed us (both husband and wife) frees the other to live how God designed them. How convenient. 🙂
I'll still continue to pray for y'all.
will do:)
It's been awhile since I've been blog surfin' (well, Jaz is a daily must…ha.ha.) BUT something lead me your direction tonight. Your post is so honest & real…so many many many BIG PRAYERS are coming at you girl. Although I think you have nothing to worry about and I seriously think that Matt might just spontaneously combust when he sees how beautiful you are on your wedding day. 😉 God bless you and keep you and may your marriage be a testament to the MARRIAGES THAT MAKE IT. You go girl…show the world how easily it can be done – Marry the boy. Love the boy. Keep God in the center. And all is well. :)))) love and prayers still coming at ya.
God's presence will be all over you both! It's going to an absolutely divine day! God LOVES weddings 😉 Bless ya Bride-to-Be!
Bianca! I will so be praying for you! I've been off Facebook for a few weeks and so I am out of the loop and don't know when your wedding is but I'm guessing it is soon! Take it one day at a time! And you can't help but be stunning, dear! Love, Melissa Fitzpatrick
Oh Melissa, thank you for your kind words! Yes, eight days away from walking down the aisle 🙂 Keep me in prayer!
PS I'll be heading to Catalyst in Atlanta! Hope to see you 🙂
I texted you in response to this, so I hope you got it, but I will be praying for you both not just for the next 8 days, but beyond that. It will be great. Don't worry 🙂 Love you both!
Bianca, I'm so excited for you and honored to pray!
Praying!
Bianca,
I rarely comment, but felt compelled to this morning. I hadn't realized how close you were to the big day! I totally get how you feel. I felt (feel) the same way. I was afraid of failing; between the divorce rate (outside and inside the church) and my own personal family history of dysfunction – failure seemed it could be a possibility.
But I am not my family, I am a child of God. I waited for the right person, hand-picked by God to come into my life. he accepts me and all my shortcomings – including my lack of laundry and cooking skills! In three months we will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary… if only by the Grace of God. And we are happy {grateful, giddy, blessed} to have each other.
We still have people occasionally tell us how wonderful our wedding and reception was; that is all I wanted that day, for people to experience and FEEL God's love (we had Christians, Catholics and Jews attending) and then to just have fun and celebrate the beginning of a marriage with us! It was a great day!
So I will pray for you two, for your list prayer requests, to relax and enjoy the day, to be prepared for whatever surprise the day may bring and to always remember that God brought you two together. It's going to be a wonderful day!!
Remember, the wedding day should be about the "beginning of a marriage" NOT about a wedding, with that in mind everything else is gravy!
I will be praying.
Love that so many people are willing to pray for you my friend. =] God's got you covered. you already know you have my prayers. btw…thanks for the twitter love. ha!
Bianca, How awesome! You are going to be a beautiful bride, in a beautiful area that I know a little bit about, the day is going to be beautiful, but best of all your family, especially your mother & father, will be with you. That's what I missed the most at our wedding, my mother. Enjoy the day, it goes way too fast! Getting married on the 7th, is it true that you receive double the blessings? Hugs and Blessings and Lots of Prayers coming your way. Love you!
it's an honor to pray for you, bianca. you're going to be great! joy in the journey, friend. have a GREAT time! this is your only wedding!
p.s. i'm going to pray that the sex is wild and crazy and so much fun, too.
xo
I would be one of those brand new readers here (courtesy of Angie Mack). But I will gladly pray for you and your upcoming wedding and marriage. Know that you probably WILL fail at many of those things. BUT GOD…loves you unconditionally, forgives you, restores you, changes you, and extends tremendous grace & mercy toward you. He will do so many things in and through you – it will blow your mind. In a very good way. I've been happily married for 24 years and we have two teenage boys (16 & 15). Even though I mess up, He has refined me in countless ways through my marriage, parenting, and homeschooling. Those three men are the greatest blessings ever!!! I'm confident that God has big things in store for the two of you, as you become one, as you become a picture to the world of Christ and the church. Blessings! Dianne 🙂
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