I’ve been faced with a mirror. A mirror revealing the nefarious darkness of who I am and who I pretend to be.
It’s deeper than self-deprecation and harder than self-effacing… it’s self-realization. When staring into the reflection of actions, words, thoughts, or deeds, what is revealed? What can be seen?
I’m controlling. And God controls all.
I’m afraid. And God is peace.
I’m a perfectionist. And God laughs.
I’m religious. And God hates religion.
Embarrassed and humiliated, confused and unsure, I’m staggered by the truth. How do I change? Where do I begin? Is this time going to be different than the times before?
Perhaps I should quote Dallas Willard’s greatest line: Do the next best thing. What that is, I have no clue. But as I take steps forward in letting God be God, pray I don’t smash any mirrors or talk out loud to myself like the Venice cat lady and her screeching grocery cart.
Do the next best thing,
B
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