That’s right ladies and gentlemen, after exhaustive research [five weeks of marriage], development [humorous banter], and noted market value [free conflict resolution tips], you can enjoy the ability to understand what your wife really means when she chooses to use words indicating something else! 🙂
[This ad has been approved by Olthoff Incorporated. All rights reserved.]
What I said: It’s been a long day and I’m so hungry.
What Matt heard: I’m making something simple for dinner.
What I meant: Can you take me out to dinner?
What I said: Wow, my closet is so empty!
What Matt heard: My closet is empty.
What I meant: I need clothes!
What I said: I’m not emotional and I’m not overreacting!
What Matt heard: I’m emotional and overreacting!
What I meant: Don’t look at me like I’m crazy!
What I said: How much do you love me?
What Matt heard: How much do you love me?
What I meant: I’m going to ask for something expensive!
What I said: What do you think of this outfit?
What Matt heard: What do you think of my outfit?
What I meant: Tell me you think I’m beautiful.
What I said: Sure. Do it if you want to.
What Matt heard: That’s a great idea.
What I meant: I don’t want you to.
What I said: Are you serious?!
What Matt heard: Are you serious?!
What I meant: You can’t be serious.
What I said: I love you so much.
What Matt heard: I want you.
What I said: You look so handsome today!
What Matt heard: I want you!
What I said: I missed you today.
What Matt heard: I want you.
Feel free to add any I may have missed 🙂
Hillarious and sooooo true. Love it!
Haha, this is great 🙂 You sure are "honeymooners "
You must have married my husbands clone! After 13 years, I have learned to say what I really mean…he will NEVER be able to read between the lines!!
b, you are so funny!!
This is hilarious Bianca! It’s so funny how big the comprehension gap between Man and Women is, and oh so frustrating!
This is so funny. Thanks for sharing.
PERFECT!! Love it!
Thank GOD I found a man who a. puts up with me, b. loves me, and c. finds me funny.
Bianca
when things get crazy just grab him and kiss him!!
Ha ha! Wouldn't it be great if women just said what they meant instead of talking in code?
I was WAITING for someone to say that! We just accept it, but it's not cool.
Women are from Venus!
Nanu nanu,
B
What I said: The grass is really growing!
What Michael heard: The grass is really growing.
What I meant: Mow the grass!! The dogs are getting lost back there!
What I said: Trash comes tonight.
What Michael heard: Trash comes tonight
Wat I meant: Seriously you haven't noticed that all the cans are on the curb BUT ours, and that the can is spilling over?!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I agree.
Excellent! Thanks for the smile.
LOL!! I'm afraid the same thing happens no matter the language you are speaking; that's universal. ¡¡Hombres!! 😉
LOL that's great! I am learning a bit from a book (I have yet to read but the teachers that I am sitting under on Wednesday nights at my church reference it) Guys are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti. Your language decoder fits right into what they are teaching. 🙂
I've seen Guys Are Like Waffles and Women Are Like Spaghetti at the bookstore. Read a chapter, it's a funny read and a Christian spinoff of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
So now that you know this, you’ll just speak plain and to the point, right? 😉
Love it! Thanks to David Jay to pointing me to this particular post 🙂
We speak in code because we want to give them the opportunity to be SWEET and AMAZING in that very moment. When I say, "I'm tired and hungry" and he says "Let's go get sushi!", my heart melts.
I now reaffirm that I am married to the most amazing and thoughtful man ever! Everyone is happy because after I have kissed him (like a good kiss), he thinks I want him…Everyone wins!!!
John: Coffee Bean tonight?
Cindy heard: I'm a cheap date, so I'll take you out for coffee.
John meant: I want iced coffee and I don't want to go alone.
Hey Bianca,
Great Blog. Check out this video – http://bit.ly/blRw96 – I think it goes both ways. aaahh… maybe not!!!
@Collyder
Matt said: That’s my pen
Bianca heard: That’s my pen
HE meant: Don’t touch my pen…
Sorry, couln’t help myself.. I have “pen” issues too 🙂
hahaha! That is too funny! I agree with the translations…i think no matter what I say my husband hears “I want you so bad”…haha
So true, christy! I am right there with you–"I agree with the translations…i think no matter what I say my husband hears "I want you so bad"…haha."
I spit out my pasta laughing so hard while reading your post!
Love those last three. Hilarious!
lol!!
She said: I don't feel well.
He heard: You don't feel well.
She meant: Rub my back and make me a cup of tea, would you?
She said: It's up to you.
He heard: It's up to me.
She meant: I want you to decide to do it my way.
He said: I'm so tired of being broke.
She heard: You think I spend too much money.
He meant: I'm so tired of being broke.
Just had our 2 year anniversary <3
hahaha..wait did you take a peek into my marriage?! did not think it was possible but i think i love you even more now that your married…thanks for sharing!
B,
Is it really just that we have to stop and really listen to what is said. And if we really do, (I'm a writer, you can tell by how I subtly change my adjectives, never repeating the same one twice:) If we care enough to look at you when you speak, and like an actor looking for "motivation for a scene, listen, hear, and FEEL, then we will be able to read between the lines and crack the woman code?
I think I may actually have done this for the first time a couple of weeks ago – and let me tell you – It was amazing what I heard.
SIgned,
Clueless in St. Louis (mixing my movie metaphors)
What he said: see above
What is heard: not sure
what he meant: someone pat me on the back for being so insightful, and say aww what a sensitive guy – i like him. (I'm a dork)
What he said: I'm a dork
What you read: aww – self depreciating humor, how quaint
what he meant: tell me I'm not a dork
Thank you B
Yep!
What men and women say and what they really mean
What a woman says, what she really means…
– I need = I want
– We need = I want
– It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
– Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
– We need to talk = I need to complain
– Sure…go ahead = I don't want you to
– I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
– You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
– You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
– I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
– Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
– This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
– I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper…
– I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
– I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
– Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
– How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
– I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
– Does this make me look fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
– You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
– Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
– Yes = No
– No = No
– Maybe = No
– I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
– I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
– Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
– I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!
What a man says, what he really means…
– I'm hungry = I'm hungry
– I'm tired = I'm tired
– Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
– Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
– I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any dress and let's go!
I have been married almost 3 months now. This is PERFECT! Love it.
That's really nice Bianca!! So funny!! Have a great night! 🙂
I will be showing this to my boyfriend… Lets hope he can use this decoder!
I've been married 28 years, I still ask: "What do you think of this outfit?". What I really want to hear, "you look drop dead gorgeous!!!"
Also…
I said: I sure do need a massage.
He said: I sure would like one too.
I meant: I need to go to a spa resort. NOW!
ooohhhh my goodness!! This is perfect. WE speak the same language!!! Hilarious!!
Sooo funny! This is so true! Any married person out there can RELATE. Welcome to married life mama! The ride has just begun … 🙂
You are so wise…I will be married for 8 years in two weeks…and I have been working on breaking the lanuguage barrier between me and my husband for all 8 years!
The first step to ceated a healthy marriage, full of healthy communication— is to admitt that as women—we DO nOT say what we really mean!
Now the question is B…what do you plan to do about it? LOL
As for me…I still DO Not say what I mean…but I am working on it 😉 For now I just end every statement with "You know what I mean!!"
LOLOLOLOl
Hahaha! I love it!
LOVE & RESPECT SERIES. AMAZING!!! Bianca…congratulations on your recent Wedding…attend those Love & Respect series you are having at your church (we are too at ours)…because the CRAZY CYCLE girl…is CRAZY, you gotta learn when it's starting to spin…so you don't get dizzy and sick when your on it. God Bless you and Matt…
So true! Women see hear and think in pink. Men in blue. Hilarious series and conference. Great for the marriage. We recommend it to all couples we know! We even purchased the home study kit. Changing everyone we know. Well, that’s the hope!
This is one of the funniest things I have read Bianca. We love you guys :).
hahahaha awesome!
Sooooo true!
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